We Read It For You! • Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be

Book Review and Reflections by Carrie Morris, CFP®
A webinar in our summer series for parents: We Read It For You!

When it comes to college admissions, it’s easy to get swept up in rankings, prestige, and pressure. But what if everything we’ve been told about elite colleges is wrong—or at least missing the bigger picture?

That’s the central argument in Frank Bruni’s Where You Go Is Not Who You’ll Be. In our latest We Read It For You!webinar, I shared key insights from the book and discussed what they mean for families making tough decisions about college—both emotionally and financially.

College Admission Anxiety Is Real—But Often Misplaced

Bruni challenges the idea that admission to a top-ranked school is the only path to success. Through research, data, and powerful storytelling, he highlights students who thrived at lesser-known schools, built impressive careers, and lived fulfilling lives—without the Ivy League label.

As a parent and financial planner, I see this mindset shift as liberating. It reminds us that our job is not to create the “perfect” outcome, but to support our kids in finding a path that aligns with who they are and what they want out of life.

Where You Go Matters—But Not in the Way You Think

The book encourages families to reframe the college conversation. It’s not just about the school name—it’s about the experience. Students succeed when they feel supported, challenged, and seen. That can happen in a big university, a small liberal arts college, or a state school close to home.

Bruni makes it clear: students shape their success more than any institution ever will.

Prestige Comes at a Price

One of the most sobering points Bruni raises is the financial cost of chasing prestige. Families may feel compelled to overextend themselves financially for a school that “looks good,” but that might not provide a better education—or a better return on investment.

This hits home for many families I work with. The truth is, a lesser-known college may offer stronger advising, more scholarship support, better mental health services, or faster access to career opportunities. It all depends on what your student values—and what your family can afford without compromising retirement or long-term goals.

What Parents Can Do Now

Here are a few ways to bring these lessons into your own college planning:

• Have honest conversations about affordability early in the process—not after acceptances come in.

• Focus on schools where your student is likely to receive merit aid, graduate on time, and be happy.

• Ask better questions on college visits: What does advising look like? How accessible are faculty? What are recent graduates doing now?

• Remind your student (and yourself) that no college defines their potential.

Planning With Purpose

The goal of our We Read It For You! series is to give families clear, actionable insight—without requiring you to read every book out there. But if you do choose to read Bruni’s, I think you’ll find it both refreshing and reassuring.

And if you want help applying these ideas to your own family’s situation, we’re here to walk alongside you.

Start with a free College Money Report™ to get a clear financial picture, or schedule a time to talk with a member of our team.